My Journey Back

I have been meaning and wanting to do this for awhile but lack the courage/motivation. I am changing the focus of my blog somewhat. I will still pass along any great deals that I find and any tricks that I find to keep me making money from home, however I am going to include my journey back to myself as well. I think it may be good for me to put it in writing. I have put on alot of weight over the past couple years and am now suffering from anxiety. I saw my doctor and he prescribed zoloft to help which I had an adverse reaction to and ended up trying to not lose my mind as I suffered through a 12 hour long panic attack. I went back to the doctors and he switched it to Welbutrin and ordered a bunch of bloodwork and other test. I am having the bloodwork done tomorrow and went for a stress test at the end of last week. Just knowing that I had to have that done scares me. I know that I have repeatedly abused my body and ate junk for years, and the only time that I was truely happy was when I was thinner and eating healthy. I understand now ( yes I am one that has to learn for myself) that eating junk not only shortens your life but always can lead to many other things. I am going to survive all of this - learn to eat healthy - and get to a point where I no longer need anxiety medication. I have been trying to wean myself off from caffiene as a first step. I am limiting my diet cola addiction down from the only thing I ever drank to 32 ounces a day for a week or so. I have began adding drinking water in to replace the diet sodas I am no longer drinkng. From there I will continue to lower it til I only have the occasional glass. I always have stopped getting lunch from drive thrus. Small steps I know, but they need to be lasting habits so I have to be sure I do it right this time.